An influencer has spoken out about her decision to take herself on a “solo honeymoon” and why she no longer depends on a man to enjoy her life.
In her 30s, Brittany Allyn found herself yearning for adventure and tired of waiting for a partner to join her, from traveling to starting a family.
The 37-year-old, who lives between London and New York, took matters into her own hands and flew to the British capital in September 2022 to freeze her eggs and then booked the trip of her dreams to the South of France and Venice.
The influencer, who has more than 150,000 followers (@thirtywaves), is now taking to social media to share her experience and encourage more women to stop putting their lives on hold waiting for ‘the one’.
In a YouTube video published on Shera (@shera_oficl), a digital platform dedicated to empowering women, she talks about her commitment to “celebrating love and friendship” rather than pursuing a romantic connection.
“I think everyone has days where they’re like, I want that, the deep romance — but most of the time I don’t feel any pressure to get married,” she tells Shera.
“I once heard this quote that if you married the love of your life at 50, you could be with this person for 30 years.
“My longest relationship was about five years and it felt like forever, so being with the love of your life for 30 years makes me so happy, I’m in no rush.”
Brittany attributes her positive outlook on life to her parents.
She said, “I had really supportive parents, realists and they just said, ‘Britt, we want you to experience everything in life to have so much fun’.”
[They told her]: “Marriage is great. Kids are great, but it’s not this perfect solution and it’s really hard, not everyone gets a perfect marriage or, you know, perfect kids.
“So they said, hopefully that will happen, but in the meantime, live your life — they’ve been instilling that in me since I was a young kid.”
Despite her rosy outlook on life now, Brittany, who is originally from Seattle, Washington, hasn’t always felt so free from societal pressures.
In her twenties, she admits that thinking about “timelines” would stress her out.
She said: “My 20-year-old self was completely different, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
“I had a crush on a guy I knew from high school and I thought, ‘We’re going to live in the same city and get married and have kids when we’re 27 or 30,’ and I’d have some passion projects on the side.” .
“But I was just going to be a mom and never leave Seattle, but when I was 25 we broke up and I went in a completely different direction.
“I think she would be in awe and also think it was really cool that what she thought was true in life was actually the opposite — anything that you think is going to happen probably won’t actually happen.”
Since taking her life into her own hands and eschewing the shackles of society’s expectations, Brittany has realized that a honeymoon shouldn’t just be limited to newlyweds.
She coined the term “me-moon” and shares her travels on social media with her fans.
She said: “There are so many places I wanted to go, but I was waiting for that perfect partner, the perfect relationship.
“South of France was one of them, and Venice, Italy, taking a gondola ride, taking an African safari, now that I’m in my mid-to-late 30s, I’m like, wait, why am I waiting?
“People really loved that content, I think I’ve probably had a thousand messages from women planning their own me-moons, it was really cool knowing that this inspired women to travel solo, and I’d say you’re there won’t regret it.
“It’s such a powerful feeling to know I was brave, I did this when I did something for myself, you know, I’m an interesting person who wants to explore the world.
“When you’re working, it’s less scary — I’ve made some videos to hopefully help women work through all the nuances of solo travel, like dining alone.”
However, she has received responses from online trolls, but insists she is not put off by it.
Brittany said: “It’s always random men who are trolls and I’m like, if it’s not clear, like this page isn’t for you, so please get out.
“I’m not asking you to be part of this conversation, but it’s always misogynistic, insecure men who make comments.
“However, for the most part, my page is quite positive.”
For now, Brittany is focusing on the journey of freezing her eggs for future use when she’s ready.
However, with prices in the US well above those in the UK, she decided to cross the pond.
She said: “If that wasn’t a biological thing for women I wouldn’t worry – if I were a man I’d go to 50 and live this full life, but I don’t think we can pretend it isn’t there it.” .
“Egg freezing in America is insanely expensive and only really big tech companies or big companies usually cover it, otherwise it can be around $18,000 and so I couldn’t afford that.
“[Talking about the first try]my body just wasn’t taking the drug well, my follicles weren’t growing, so after eight days I had to stop.
“Hopefully this spring and probably next fall I’ll try to freeze again and once I do I think I’ll really have a lot of peace of mind.”
While Brittany is happy with the path she’s chosen, she knows it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach and encourages women to find what works for them.
She said: “Now that I’m 37, I’ve seen a lot of women go down different paths and one isn’t better than the other. When you’re married, you’re not immediately happy. When you’re a mother.
“In some ways I think being more independent and single is easier.
“I can just scroll in bed in the morning, I can look up flights next week if I want to go somewhere, the world is my oyster right now.
“I certainly have real pressure, but one life is not better than another. I think you just have to realize that your life is unique and you have to accept that.”